MY FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE

One of my favorite places to be is at our summer flat in Silivri, about 60 kms outside of İstanbül, where I like to escape to on weekends during the off season to take a break from the constant demands of life in the city. Besides the fact that this small holiday village is so quiet and uncrowded during the off months, one of the main reasons it’s so special for me is its unobstructed view of the Marmara Sea. From our balcony we have a 180 degree panorama of the sea from the high cliffs to the west to the point jutting out into the waves in the east – with about 2 kms of beach tucked in between.  Looking out our livingroom window, I can see a slice of this sea, observe its moods and the state of the sky and weather which shines, glowers, pours, blows or just sits sullen and gray above it. Today is one of those latter days, the sky and the sea but two shades of pale gray that meet on the horizon. They form a Zen-like tableau that makes it ideal for my practice of meditation and Tai Chi.

FORM REFLECTS FUNCTION

Beginning with my meditation, I sit facing the sea while the prologue to my practice plays in the background. The fact that the weather is sullen makes it easier to focus. The view is so calming, so flat and simple, with nothing but the occasional seagull to break the harmony before me. The sea is instructive in my meditations on days when the agitation of the surface waves belies the deep strength and calmness of the underlying currents. The waves resemble the thoughts which flit through my “monkey mind” while the deep sea is the calm equanimity of the true self. As I sink deeper into meditation, I am able to dive below those surface pertubations and immerse myself in the deep eternal currents below them. The same is true for my Tai Chi practice, which follows my meditation. The neutral backdrop allows me to focus on my movements and breathing with no distractions, my mind an empty slate of charcoal gray like the sky outside my window.

IT’S EASY TO BE A HOLY MAN ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN

– Larry Darrel

Yet soon enough, the weekend comes to a close and it’s time for me to head back to the frenetic hustle of İstanbül. With my battery recharged, it’s easier to slip back into my work week and I try to maintain the sense of calm and fulfillment that I’ve gained in my retreat for as long as I can. But despite meditating every weekday and trying to fit in my Tai Chi as often as I can find the space to practice, the demands of work and family, the stress of commuting, and the everyday problems of living in a large, chaotic city like İstanbul begin to take their toll. I become more distracted, my temper gets shorter, my energy wanes, and soon I know it’s time to head back out to Silivri once again. I am deeply grateful to have access to such a wonderful and soothing place in my life.